Virgo Men

In all my life, I can say that I've encountered many Virgo men. Lately there have been less since I came to Cambridge though. In fact, I can't think of any......Not even on Facebook. The first thing I look at is birthdays before anything else; not even the juicy pictures can divert my gaze - unless they are super hot, of course. Or hideous.


Virgo men are an interesting breed. I have a special thing for them because my Sun is in Virgo. For women, the guys they are attracted to - according to the classical astrological myth - are the ones who have the same sign as their Sun or Mars (masculine tendencies). For men, it's women who have the same signs as their Moon or Venus (feminine tendencies) that attract them most. Moon stands for emotional needs and maternal instinct, and it is true that psychologically, men often have a special bond with their mothers, and would be inclined to look for women who resemble them in a way. (Oedipal issues aside. Although I do believe that tendencies are experienced on a spectrum, and no one's on the absolute ends of the scale, be it sexuality-wise or whatever. Those who claim to be on the extreme ends are more likely repressed or in denial.) The Sun stands for rationality of Apollonian rigour and all things no-nonsense, pragmatic and unhindered by emotion. In obsolete terms, it stands for the masculine. Remember that classical astrology originated many centuries ago where there was no feminist movement whatsoever, so we must forgive these sexist distinctions. See them as giving us an easy way to memorize otherwise esoteric concepts in astrology.

So, back to Sun and Mars for women when choosing their true loves. According to these rules, then I myself should therefore go for Virgo and Cancer, which are the signs wherein my said 'love planets' lie. I do like Virgo and Cancer, but Cancer more than Virgo though. I'm sure alot of people like Virgo men because they are polite, considerate and down-to-earth. Not overbearing, not too much, not too flirtatious or sleazy. But charming in a service-oriented, practical kind of way. They're very resourceful. If you ask them for help, they'll totally get the job done, and very neatly at that. Somewhat like Scorpio, which is very detailed and very thorough. Except Virgo is more efficient and what I would like to call 'no-nonsense' and worldly (Scorpio is more 'otherworldly' as I like to say.) It depends on your taste really; and the task at hand. For example, if say, I have to book a plane ticket real quick, I'll rely on Virgo. But if say I need to find good-value, swanky hotels in a holiday destination or a fieldwork destination, but am not really on a time limit, then I'll ask Scorpio to do the research for me. The outcome is bound to be perfect. Just the right budget, just the right swankiness, and even more details thrown in that you never thought of yourself, for instance a balcony in your room, free breakfast, or late checkout or something. Thoroughness is what Scorpio is known for.

Virgo, on the other hand, is very neat, very tidy, very exact. It's pretty much a given fact that they are clean freaks and like to look good. However, not good as in 'Libra good' or 'Leo good'. Those are more flashy and more into high-octane glamour. Virgo's look is understated and classical. The Virgo guys I know are all very well-dressed - as in preppy, clean-shaven Polo Ralph Lauren style - and always have impeccable manners and are generally unpretentious and down-to-earth (save for some plantary afflications in their chart, such as a flamboyant Ascendant or a flirtatious Mercury). So what's not to like about them? I would say they're not very manly men. Some might disagree, but if you compared them to say an Aries alpha-male type or a Leo dramatic in-your-face type or a Capricorn or Cancer ultra-traditional patriarchal husband type, or even a Taurean sensual earthy male type, you'll find a Virgo man a bit lacking in masculinity. True that they're seldom controlling and overbearing, and won't not let you hang out with your friends or get super jealous of you talking to other guys or something. Yet, I find them a bit too wishy-washy for my liking. I would say that Virgo men are the most wishy-washy of all the signs. For some reason, Virgo women's wishy-washiness is not mega-annoying compared to Virgo men's. Again, a sexist remark that perhaps women can get away with a certain degree of wishy-washiness. But I don't think so for men. Maybe I haven't been really dominiated by overbearing alpha-males, so I don't yet know how to appreciate the cool and composed nonchalance of Virgo men. Another thing not that appealing about them is their crankiness. Like Cancer, they have their mood swings - owing to the swift changes of the Moon for Cancer - but Virgo crankiness is different. It's like a woman throwing a tantrum. Imagine a girl Virgo complaining about hygiene. There was this Virgo guy who told me off for eating in his car; he literally shouted at me and said the carpet had just been cleaned. I forgot what I was eating, but it was definitely not crisps or anything scandalous. I swear it was like a granola bar or something totally harmless. These are guys who would be slathering on handcream, following anti-bacterial non-liquid handwash; take their dogs or cars to be expertly washed and groomed by specialists; go on South Beach diets or make sure they never skip their twice weekly ashtanga yoga session with the yoga guru from New York. In other words, they are spanking perfect. That explains why I have such a hard timing justifying why I don't like them! I don't know, maybe I would get along with a Virgo guy who's less fussy and more assertive. I just haven't met one yet. Maybe I need to be with an absolute slob to start appreciating the discreet charms of Virgo men.

In Praise of Fire Signs

I used to have a major bias towards Earth and Water signs. I really do love them, and get along with them very well, considering that I am one myself. But there's one thing I really don't like about them - especially those who don't have ANY major Fire or Air influences in their chart. They are so SLUGGISH!!

I have a new concept I derived at, from having dissected a few more birth charts in these past few weeks. It sounds sort of mean, using these as social experiments, but hey, I'm a social scientist, and I investigate human phenomena right? It's embedded inside me; it's in my blood. Ok, so I had the privilege of looking at a few friends' charts, and I found that one of them is predominantly Earth (Taurus) and Water, and the other is Earth (Taurus) and Air. You know how I usually love Taureans, and incidentally, the charts I've been doing these days have been Taurus and Cancer (probably because it's Taurus month and I see it a good b'day present to do birth charts for these people.) Anyway, both of them lack Fire, which means they lack initiative. Fire is usually known as brash and impetuous and too haphazard for their own good. But it also has high drive and high initiative to kick-start things. Fire represents leadership and the courage to delve head-first into unknown territories. The Lion (Leo) in The Wizard of Oz represents couragea and passion; the Ram (Aries) is raw energy and dynamism; the Stallion (Sagittarius) is inspiration. Without these qualities, a person will never succeed, or else at least not ever become an inspirational leader, if that's what they're looking to become.

As much as the Earth/Water individual is reliable, steadfast and kind (Cancerian nurturing capability), he seriously lacks the passion and joie de vivre of Fire, hence his day to day actions are hopelessly slow and unspontaneous. Of course, it depends on what you do. If you like to be stuck in a lab all day doing research and not much else, then fine, your steadfastness and pragmatism will work to your advantage. I for one, do not concur with this sluggishness and tardiness. I can't stand it! I have an Aries Moon for god's sake! I am highly impatient and quick on my toes. I get stuff done and I don't believe in slugging about! Plus, tardiness just does not leave a good impression on other people. Who likes someone who is always late?? It's a show of irresponsibility and is just not appealing or 'manly' (sorry for sexist comment, but I believe that men should be fast in getting stuff done and not mucking about.) As for the Earth/Air individual, she's actually highly intelligent and quirky, given the Air influence, which is known for it's mental agility. But somehow, it doesn't translate into concrete action (the poor thing.) The result is that sluggishness again! Those two individuals when put together would never get anything done!

Sorry to be mean folks, as these two individuals are lovely. But Virgo is very results-orientated and I just like to see friends improve themselves. But of course, you may say that I'm anal as hell and a nit-picker, which I am prone to sometimes. But I'm learning to channel more Sagittarian qualities (acceptance and open-mindedness) too, to keep my Virgo critical side in check. And when I feel like shouting at people, I try to channel Virgo diplomacy. But of course it doesn't always work and I offend people anyway.....Oh well, no one's perfect right? ;p

Reconciling Virgo and Sagittarius

It's interesting how someone with Virgo Sun and Sagittarius Ascendant can be so different from someone with the reverse situation - Sagittarius Sun and Virgo Ascendant. Interesting how I met a friend who is my 'reverse'.

On the outset, she is so much more composed and serene (Virgo ASC) than me, and I appear to be more quirky and vivacious (Sag ASC) than her. But when you get to know us, you'll know that actually, she is the more outgoing one (Sag Sun) and I'm the more reserved (Virgo Sun) one! She's always up for fun in the sun (while I'm the one who loves to stay indoors or insists on a parasol), and loves dancing (I only do it when the music is right, which means hip hop), and has a real spontaneous knack for performing such as playing the piano in the middle of a college formal, and bursting into Mando-pop renditions on the spot (that I wouldn't dare). I'd feel those urges, but I don't have the guts to do it. It all stays in my mind. I'm a mental sign - Virgo, ruled by Mercury - but she's essentially a fun-loving Sagittarius, ruled by expansive Jupiter. It's so funny how people sometimes gets our personalities confused. I'm actually the more 'serious' one, while she just has the 'facade' of being serious, but actually has all these quirky thoughts inside her pretty head. Look at the way we dress. You'll get a picture of how we're really like. I'm much more conservative and she's much more audacious in her frock preferences. Her clothes really reflect her real personality. She's bold, sexy and fun. I think she has to unleash that side more - with more conscious effort because boring, old Virgo is impeding her! - and show the world how fun-loving she actually is.

So who has it better? Who has it worse? Who has a harder situation to reconcile? Virgo and Sagittarius are essentially 'square' each other - 4 signs from each other - and are in a 'difficult' or 'challenging' aspect. 'Square' is one of the most challenging aspects, some would say. I find this true. However, I'm in a unique situation, given that I have my ASC in Sagittarius, and a stellium of planets in the 9th House (Sagittarius's House). Hence I have a strong affinity with Sagittarius, and shouldn't feel that strained when reconciling the square aspect with Sun Virgo. However, that friend in question, I contend, must feel more strain than me because she doesn't have that strong affinity with Virgo or Virgoan House (6th) in her chart, so I can imagine she must have quite a hard time dealing with the inner conflict festering inside her all the time. Torn between reservedness and spontaneity; conservativeness and audacity; pessimism and optimism. Some degree of moodiness is inevitable. You would be too if you were stuck in that situation.

So is it better to have the Sun, Ascendant and Moon all in compatible signs? Yes, if you want it easier. But no, if what you're looking for is a more nuanced and colourful lifetime where you have to contend with the challenges of reconciling different personality traits, which come, inevitably with associating with many different types of people and experiences. A life without challenge is not a full one, in my opinion. What's wrong with a bit of inner conflict and reconciliation? What's important is that you know what's going on inside (again, 'the awareness' as I've stressed) and your life will be much easier already.

Sign Compatibility

I was really inspired yesterday at a Taurean friend's birthday party by two things. By now alot of people would have known I have a special affinity with Taurus. I think it all started with my mom being Taurus - and we make the best, ever combination there is. I can't start a day without having talked to her. Sign compatibility in the parental home is very important. Chances are, if you had grown up in a household where you are surrounded by compatible signs, you would become a much more confident, expressive and at-ease-with-yourself individual. We call this very much 'in your element'. I have the privilege of having Taurus + Scorpio parents. We are like the holy trinity, inseparable, comfort zone at it's peak; like living in a fortress, actually. There's good and bad to all things. Growing up in a community like that gives you alot of self-assurance because you were always expertly looked after and you are confident that you deserve the best because you were always given the best. It's breaking out of this comfort zone that's the ultimate challenge.

The same theory applies to boyfriends really. I know someone who would challenge this theory. She thinks I should give others - incompatible signs - a chance. I know, I know, and I have. But it just doesn't work out like that. I recently found out that two of my close friends have Cancerian boyfriends . That's hot. I like that. One of them is Leo and the other is Capricorn-Sagittarius cusp. Cusps are very special people because they have the best of both. (And there are only 5 to 6 days a month that are 'cusp dates' - around 19th to 23rd or 24th - so they are truly rare and special breeds ;p) The Capricorn-Sag one has a very similar chart as mine in that we're both heavily Earth + Fire based. Pragmatic, steadfast and goal-oriented (she has extra hint of ambition, being Capricorn), yet fire gives her the energy, enterprising quality, and initiative to kick-start things as well. She has the qualities to become an inspirational leader; someone who gets things done. The Taurean who just had her birthday is Earth + Air based. This is very different. She's steadfast and practical, but with a lack of fire, she is more sluggish, as we say, and her ideas get stuck in her mind more (Air is a mental sign) and may not get carried out in concrete action. That's a pity because she's so smart.

The inspirational Earth + Fire individual, however, lacks Water in her chart. Even her 'love signs' (Venus and Mars) are in Aquarius - the utterly detached and most unemotional of air signs! The Cancerian boyfriend provides the much needed emotional element; he soothes the draught that is going on there. He helps her become more in touch with her emotions. Oh I almost forgot! Cancer and Capricorn are polar opposites!! No wonder there is so much sexual chemistry between the two. 'Polar opposites' are signs in their compatible elements and share the same axis. They are on opposite ends of the axis, hence are 'polar opposites'. What one is, the other ain't, and vice versa. They either complement each other perfectly, or are an utter disaster because they are so different. That's where the sexual chemistry comes in. The opposites attract thing, yet their 'essences' are compatible! It's different from two people being in completely incompatible elements - they are so different that there's no common language at all. But no, the polar opposite relationship - if you can make it work, it's magical.

I have that thing with Pisces - my opposite. I totally have that attraction with Piscean men. But it's a real challenge to find just the right way of communicating with them. It's either that they find me too unsensitive (Virgo: clinically analytical) or I find them too wishy-washy and vague (Pisces: evasive). I think we really need to find the right balance. We have different ways of showing affection. Virgo is very service-oriented and just wants to help you solve your problems, and Pisces is very sympathetic and just wants to hear kind words (which Virgo totally overlooks at times). There are several instances where I 'offended' them unknowingly because we have such different approaches. I wonder.....if Aries-Pisces cusp just may be better, with firey, brash Aries curbing the hyper-sensitivity of Pisces.

My parents are Taurus-Scorpio opposites, and they are magical. The Capricorn-Cancer couple in question will be like that too, I envision.