My Libra Son

I would like to kick start 2025 with a post about Libras, as my son is a Libran and he's pretty much grown into his personality enough to let me have a good look at how Libras are. Yes, I've had to wait until I know my son well enough to be able to dissect the great Libran personality!  

First of all, I don't have any close Libra friends except one schoolmate from childhood whom I still keep in touch with and see from time to time - it holds great value for me really, as how many people do we still chat with regularly from 30 years ago right? We celebrate our birthdays every year with another Gemini friend in our trio (Virgo, Libra, Gemini - not the likeliest of combos, but it spices things up nonetheless because we are quite different). But me and my childhood Libra schoolmate don't actually spend alone time together or have any heart-to-heart chats like I do with my Cancerian friends or even Piscean friends whom I can't stand most of the time because we're dualities and rivals and have virtually every thought different from each other. Thing is, me (earth sign) and air signs (Libras, Geminis, Aquarians) just don't have that deep love-hate connection that protrudes surface cordiality. 

But that's okay. Cordiality is good. It's what keeps things from blowing up in your face and wrecking your friendships. Maybe that's why I'm still good friends with my Libra schoolmate. We know enough about each other but aren't close enough to argue. As I say, you need to be very close with someone in order to have an argument with them. The people whom I only ever had full-blown arguments with in my life are Cancer, Virgo, Scorpio and Taurus. (Pisces don't count because we despise each other unexplicitly and choose to avoid each other...but then go on to meet again when the occasion comes for another emotionally-charged exchange.) 

My son, the Libran, is an exception. He's the only Libra I ever shouted at. I guess one's children are exempt from astrological norms at most times. Filial relations override sign compatibility. You don't get to choose which sign you give birth to, so you just learn to understand them and make the most out of your relationship with them. (Unlike your spouse even, where you DO get to choose. E.g.: I have nothing in common with Aquarians and can't communicate with them, so I won't choose them.)

My son offers me a window to understanding the elusive Libra personality. Elusive I say, not just because I know so few of them, but because the only ones I know I find hard to probe their 'perfect facades'. Think Gwyneth Paltrow, the most well-known Libra who's always poised and composed and dons lush, muted hues that exude understated elegance. Think cream, camel and beige turtlenecks, luxurious suede jackets, and cashmere, lots of cashmere à la Brunello Cucinelli, and Hermès loafers. Even her homewear is colour-coordinated. Never an ugly Christmas sweater in sight. 

                                                             

There are three types of perfectionists in the zodiac: Virgos, Leos, and Libras - each of them strive for perfection in a different way. Virgos are known for their fastidiousness, neatness and emotional purity; Leos for their moral righteousness, pomp and presentation, and emotional authenticity; Libras for their elevated and refined taste, strive for harmonius and loving relationships, and emotional control. To put it in a more concrete way, Virgo is Miu Miu with its girlish preppy charms, Leo is Versace high-octane glamour, and Libra is an expensive and understated Hermès bag. The three of them have vastly different perceptions of beauty, morality, and emotionality - but are adamant and relentless in their pursuits of them nonetheless.  

My son has yet to develop a full-fledged fashion sense, but he doesn't do garish and complains about sweaters being 'itchy' and won't wear them without a shirt underneath. But the peculiar thing is, he's far from being 'perfect' in front of me and my husband and his two sets of grandparents; in other words, all of those people who are the closest to him. But he is the most charming, easy-going, disciplined and rule-abiding citizen in front of his teachers and classmates. All I ever hear is, 'Oh, he's such an obedient, helpful and sensible child, and such a joy to have!' - from his teachers, as well as our relatives which we only see during the holidays. 'Whoa? Is this HIM?' Me and my husband would smirk at each other in disbelief, and then go on to wish we'd see more of his angelic side instead of his opinionated, obstinate and unobliging side when at home. However, on a more positive note, we are grateful that we never have to worry about his behaviour in public, as he's always one for making a good impression when in front of others, charming their pants off unfailingly. 

From this baffling dichotomy exemplified by our son, I can say that Librans 'save their real selves for their nearest and dearest', which can be both a blessing and a curse, depending on how much you cherish 'authenticity'. Would you rather have a friend who shows you their real side - warts, tantrums, pickiness, cantankerousness, and all - or a friend who's Miss Congeniality all the time even when they're seething underneath and wants to yell at you deep down? I'd say it won't hurt to find a balance between expressing one's true feelings and being the eternal diplomat - which incidentally is what being a Libra is all about - The Scales being its celestial motif. I asked my childhood friend, and she also acknowledges that she 'saves her most critical and cranky self for her husband, kids, and parents' while being the evermore easygoing friend who would never disagree on what to eat or where to go. Interestingly, her husband is a Virgo (whose birthday is one day before mine), my son is a Libra like her, and me and my husband signed our marriage certificate on the exact day of her birthday. Come to think of it, me and my Libra friend are fatefully connected in many ways. 💖

My son is too young now to discern these moral and existential intricacies of relating - and to master his own personality - but eventually, he will have to learn to find the right balance between interacting with his close ones versus others; showing his best self without being overly repressed; and being the good-natured diplomat without being labelled as 'fake'. 

Undeniably, the world would benefit from having more peace-loving, justice-seeking, and aesthetically pleasing Librans. ⭐💑

The Eleventh House: The House of Community, Technology, Revolution & Innovation

I recently did a birth chart analysis for a father-and-son duo whose Suns are both in the 11th House - the house of community, technology, revolution and innovation. 

I was discussing the son's birth chart (once again for the third time, as he would always broach the topic whenever we met at gatherings, because he always felt 'head in the clouds' due to all of his planets being in the etheral interpersonal houses 7 to 12). His father overheard us and hinted that I could also do his birth chart. This was rather unexpected, as I hadn't actually read birth charts of people who aren't in my generation, besides my own parents. Here he was, this distinguished yet affable, 70-year-old man who was a family friend of ours who's never relayed any personal information to us (in keeping with the norms of intergenerational socialization etiquette?). Here he was, asking me to read his birth chart. I kept thinking if I had misinterpreted his 'request', i.e.: he gave me his exact birth date, time and place, without actually saying 'Can you do my birth chart?'. Was he just hinting that he's turning 70 this year, and that we should throw him a big birthday bash? Well, I took a chance and did his birth chart and emailed him a summary of it anyway, and he replied with an effusive thanks. So I guess I wasn't wrong. 

It really paid off, because I found something of utmost interest. His Sun and Mercury, the two most critical planets were in the 11th House. So that's why he set up a technology company which aimed at developing medical products that would help in the prevention and diagnoses of diseases. It was something revolutionary and meaningful to humankind, and was especially timely at the onset of the dreaded COVID pandemic. Before that, he worked in an industry that had to do with dealing with pollution, again with the agenda of helping the world. Very 11th House qualities. 

His son, who used to work in corporate, now went to work for his dad. It's not a big surprise given his cluster of planets in the 11th House. It was a matter of time that he would come to eschew a mere material existence. It just wasn't in the stars for him to pursue a career that wasn't meaningful to mankind in some way; he wasn't content to just go through the same drudgery everyday without making some sort of change in the world. He was just like his dad, who was true to himself in pursuing a loftier, more otherworldly goal of revolutionalizing the world. It just so happens that technology and any futuristic endeavor is the hallmark of the 11th House. Think the Jetsons in their flying cars, and The Island (well, not the cloning conspiracy, but the sleek, white, futuristic environs).

The 11th House is by far one of the most interesting and esoteric houses on the astrological  chart - second only to the 12th House, the house of spirituality and the hidden. While both of these two houses are about humanity and altruism (say, opposed to the houses on the first half of the chart, like the 1st House about the self, and the 2nd House about materialism, the 3rd House about communication, and the 4th House about home), they represent very different forms of humanitarianism. While the 12th House is a quiet, mysterious, self-sacrificing form of spirituality, the 11th House is a louder, more public manifestation of charitability and communitarianism. It's like a monk living in obscurity deep in the hills versus a charismatic philanthropist who regularly gives TED talks to millions of followers. 

The 11th House is the House of Aquarius. That's why Aquarians are so tech-savvy, forward-thinking, innovative and eccentric. Yes, eccentricity is an 11th House quality too, because you'd have to be somewhat eccentric to burst yourself out of your bubble to innovate for the future of mankind, right? I'm sure you'd find the Aquarians around you quite quirky and intelligent; extremely sociable with many friends and busy joining many groups and societies. Fraternizing is their thing, sometimes to the chagrin of their partner, who thinks they've neglected them (well, after all, 'love and romance' is a 5th House specialty, which happens to be the opposite of the 11th House). That's not to say that Aquarians or 11th House dwellers don't know how to love - their way of expression is just different: a more cerebral, a more 'treating their lover as best friend' sort of love, which is cool too for those who can appreciate it. 

Well, that brings us to yet another interesting fact - the son's wife has her Sun in the 5th House - yikes! You guessed it - their relationship is at times tumultuous because their outlook on life is so different. Opposite Houses, so to say. While he's pursuing his dream of changing the world, she sometimes can't help shooting it down and complaining how she's the one who deals singlehandedly with their kid's after-school activities. It doesn't help that he's a Capricorn and she's an Aries, which are square signs (the most incompatible in the chart, being 3 signs apart). Before we get into how a stolid Capricorn clashes with a rambunctious Aries, the Capricorn Sun himself faces enough inner turmoil as it is, with his earth-bound, practical-as-a-log nature clashing infernally with his urge to innovate and revolutionize in the11th House! No wonder he always has this haggard, torn-apart look on his face, as if issuing a silent plea for help. (A reason for those birth chart discussions he always instigates.) 

Ah, well, what's a revolutionary without some sort of sacrifice. 

Lover's Year 2022: Covid, Family Commitments and Personal Breakthroughs

It's been 7 years since I last posted! This goes to show that the '7 year itch' is not a myth......

Serendipitously, it's my 'Lover's Year' (VI) again in tarot numerology, as I've been fortuitously led to post again on one of the most significant numerology years of my life cycle. In my last Lover's Year 9 years ago in 2013, I was making important relationship choices, exploring unconventional routes, and making huge career breakthroughs. Will my Lover's Year of 2022 be the same? 

Nine years later, I've since been happily married with an adorable son. Suffice it to say that I don't have the same type of relationship choices to make as in my dating years. I've also retired from teaching, so there are no more boundaries to cross and stuffy, insidious balls to break 😝. However, I have embarked on a brand-new endeavour: novel writing! As I've grown tired of academic writing that hardly escapes the ivory tower and never reaches the readership of which it studies - a sad and ironical fact. I'm therefore determined to take my work unto a completely different level where it can reach mass, unprecedented audiences and make a profound difference in society. It's high time I pay homage to my writer heroes Jane Austen and J.K. Rowling, and hopefully follow in the footsteps of John Grisham and Dan Brown who have successfully fused professional knowledge with entertainment value and literary pizazz!

Lover's Year is also about relating to people in every sense. Ever since the year began, I have been feeling nostalgic about memories with family members, which resulted in my compulsive construction of family albums that documented weddings, family trips, graduations and births and what not, in hopes to preserve these cherished memories. I even found myself tearing up while watching The Sound of Music with my son, as I reminisced about my own childhood days watching it with my own parents. To be able to share one's beloved childhood songs, books and movies with one's own offspring is a most divine blessing. 🙏 

The formidable and inexorable Covid-19 pandemic also served to heighten one's sense of family and relationality. What with the social distancing rules and threats of lockdown to occur at any time, families in the same city can rarely see each other for fear of cross-contamination. This makes us seriously question our commitment to family; whether we are doing enough for aged parents. What happens if we don't get to see them again during these turbulent times? It's sad enough that thousands of old people have died an earlier than expected death after contracting the deadly virus......shouldn't we cherish what we have before it's too late? 

I sincerely hope that in my last Lover's Year of my life cycle - ( yes, there comes a time for each numerological year to end after several occurrences, eg: it was my last Hierophant Year (V) in 2012 - hence marks the end of my era of teaching and conventional constraints after 2021.) - I can come away with the lessons I'm supposed to learn about love and commitment, and achieve my own great personal breakthrough. 

It's also worth mentioning that with the disappearance of one numerology year comes a brand new one at the end of one's 9-year cycle. In my case, last year I experienced for the first time the Temperance Year (XIV) which was all about healing and purging of bodily ailments. Sure enough, my whole last year was spent visiting doctors, going for both alternative and conventional treatments, and trying to balance mind, body and spirit. I hope I did achieve what was meant to and that I have come out of it a healthier and more wholesome person. So this year, I hope I can achieve all of my family goals and to go where no academic has gone before: the magical world of fiction. 

Virgo and Cancer

The power of sign compatibility cannot be underestimated. My own example is the best one. 

For as long as I can remember, I've always gravitated toward Cancerians wherever I went. All throughout high school, university, master's, PhD, the workplace....it seems as though everywhere I go, I could not escape the claws of the crab. Virtually all of my close friends I've met throughout my life are Cancerian crabs. It is difficult to deny that like-minds and like-personalities naturally attract each other. This Virgo-Cancer sextile (60 degrees) aspect can weather many storms, and the karmic tie between them is unbreakable. 

When I first sat down and talked to the guy who was to become my boyfriend, I felt an instant sense of calmness and familiarity that is characteristically exuded by Cancerians. Gentle, nurturing, and emotionally attuned creatures, I felt so at ease in his presence, even though it was literally the first time we met. I felt like I wanted to share much more about myself than I normally would, as I felt so safe and understood. The feeling was confirmed when we met again for dinner with just the two of us and talked for four hours straight until the restaurant closed!

Of course, sign compatibility alone cannot have led to this type of strong rapport, as we also shared a very similar educational, family, and cultural background as well. Serendipitously, we were both only children; both studied in the same kindergarten; our high schools were in the same district and were considered 'partner' schools; he used to live in the building literally at the foot of my high school where my classmate also lived (and it was where I hung out during lunch and after-school almost every day!) We were also in the UK for our tertiary education; and unsurprisingly, because we were in the same year, we shared some mutual friends. I would say that these external circumstances formed the skeleton or basis of our compatibility, and then it was our sign compatibility - aka similarities of personality - that sprinkled our union with magic dust and sealed it in for the long term. Evidently, it was this combination of similar socioeconomic backgrounds and personalities (signs) that constituted the perfect formula for successful coupling. 

I looked further into our charts and saw that my boyfriend's Moon and Ascendant are in Earth sign Capricorn, perfectly complementing my Virgo Sun! Not only am I highly attuned to his watery essence, but perfectly compatible with his earthy disposition. Cancer and Capricorn are on the same axis and in 'opposition', which means that, like all signs which are 180 degrees apart, they are of compatible elements (water and earth or fire and air) but 'complementary', meaning that what one is, the other is not. That explains why my boyfriend exudes the gentle and compassionate qualities of a typical Cancerian, but can also be unflinchingly decisive and unyielding in certain areas of life like a severe Capricorn. My detailed chart analysis totally dispelled his longstanding doubts regarding his personality conflicts. What's even more unbelievable is that my boyfriend's Sun is in the 6th house of Virgo, and my own Moon is in the 4th house of Cancer! Things really cannot get more fated than our Suns and Moons being in the houses that are ruled by each other's signs. We really are meant to be. Had I mentioned that my Mars is in Cancer, meaning that I'm irresistibly attracted to Cancerian men in the first place? His Venus, meanwhile, is in Gemini (he is subconsciously drawn to sharp and witty women), and it just so happens that Virgo and Gemini share the same ruler (Mercury).......

I'm constantly amazed by how our bodies and our feelings never lie. Even in the very beginning when I hardly knew my boyfriend at all, I already felt strangely attracted to him, and an accidental touching of our hands sent an electric current surging through my body. It was a truly 'electrifying' experience! Being both cautious and self-protective signs, we both could not contain our feelings for long due to the transcendental currents at work. The experience was truly awe-inspiring. Since then, I, as well as people around me who have heard about my serendipitous encounter, are all thoroughly convinced that the *perfect match* can only be induced by a combination of socioeconomic plus astrological sign compatibility. I can't believe how lucky I am. Thus, I have made it my quest to help others achieve the same kind of divine union that I have. 

Looking Back on the Lessons of the Lovers Tarot Card

Hello 2014. It is difficult to say if last year lived up to its tarot numerological promises. (See last post on 'Lovers' Year'). On one hand, it certainly did in the relationship department, albeit it being very short-lived. It just so happened that the glorified friends that were mentioned as being exemplars of being bold and taking the plunge into contestable relationships also found their relationships unraveling at the end of 2013.....

Three out of the five of the 'relationship heroines' seemed to be heading toward - or are already suffering, perhaps - the fate that I myself had. Does this mean that being bold and fearless and taking the plunge and going with the heart instead of the head doesn't necessarily pay off? What happened and why did we fail so miserably? 

What I learnt out of this experience, painful as it was, was that each year's lesson stays with you and becomes a part of you after it is learnt. Looking back now, I can see that the shattered promises of my relationship has now become a part of me. Not in a negative way though. Perhaps I was over-optimistic that the relationship challenge, if overcome, would guarantee blissful permanence unto the rest of my life. But it turns out that the universe has a timing system. Perhaps it wasn't meant to be. For now, or forever. We don't know, do we? Not until the universe thinks it is time to reveal the outcome. Or when we ourselves are ready. It is no doubt a valuable lesson learnt, and integrated, if we are lucky enough to live through it. 

The Lovers tarot card is all about choices. How do we know if we are making the right choice? Looking back, it seems as though we're drawn to making that choice, or taking the plunge no matter what at that time. I don't think anyone can resist that opportunity, or that magnetic force, and would've plunged against all odds or amidst all voices of dissent. The lesson of the Lovers card was about making an important relationship choice in order to purge our demons and previous inhibitions. 

Me and my BFF went through the same thing this year peculiarly, as our fates are more or less tied together sharing the same Life numbers and Year numbers. We both went through the painful lesson of the Lovers year. It's hard to say if it signifies 'The End' to that particular relationship that we were drawn to purge. But at least we know we are put through a challenge that we could not overcome at this moment, due to timing, practical constraints, value differences etc. What drew us to these difficult and contestable relationships in the first place? Karma, supposedly. It's the only explanation that makes sense. Perhaps we thought that the Lovers year was a time of culmination for our relationships - since it lured us to take the plunge no matter how improbable or controversial right? Everyone said 'No, it won't work!' 'No, he's not suitable!' 'No, you can do better!' 'No, please reconsider!' Somehow we are driven to stick with our choices anyway, because we believe that we can finally overcome our difficulties with our steely determination and strong free will. And so we take the plunge....and we get hurt because indeed, like everyone said, it did not work out. 

What did we learn from this? That we shouldn't have taken the risk? That we should've been more practical to begin with? That we should've listened to other people's practical advice because we weren't objective enough? That we could've prevented all this pain and misery in the first place if we just resisted acting on our impulses? 

It's so difficult to say whether there are regrets or not in our choices last year. I think we were really meant to take the plunge and go with our heart's true desire. I think it was meant to cost us blood, sweat and tears. That's all a part of the package of the year's lesson. To learn to deal with the excruciating pain that comes with the delectable passion is part of the deal. As to how this lesson is integrated into our future lives.....I can say that perhaps we have to believe in Divine Timing and that there are forces beyond our control. We are very diminutive in this regard. We may be able to control our external environment in many ways, ie: we work hard to make a good living, we study hard to gain a good education......but there is one thing that is outside our control - relating to others. When it comes to human interaction, there is nothing we can do when the Other does not comply. We may try hard to persuade, to impress, to serve, and to love, but ultimately, we cannot control what the Other thinks. We may think that what we are doing is good for both of us, or what we are sacrificing is enough to get us through life's difficulties, but the Other may not think it is enough, and may not be fulfilled as it is. The lesson of the Lovers card is that relating to others is perhaps the most difficult lesson of all. Because we simply cannot control what others think and do. And that is completely baffling and painful to those of us who have had our whole entire lives under control. Or maybe we think we do, until this moment when we finally encounter something we cannot change, no matter how hard we try. Others, just like us, have a free will and Divine Timing of their own, and that is fair enough. 

A lesson of relating to others is invaluable, and it has made us more humble, less self-centred, less complacent, and more considerate for the rest of our lives. 

Tarot Numerology I: Year of the Lovers Card

I can't believe it's been more than 2 years since I last posted!! By now I've already finished my PhD and embarked on my teaching and publishing career. It's been such a long and insightful journey. When I first started my blog in 2009, I was in my 1st Year of PhD and it was my 'Justice' year in the tarot numerology (Year 11). For those who don't know, how you calculate your tarot year is much like how you would calculate your classic numerology year, that is, by adding your birth date and the year in question (eg: if someone was born on 1st of January, then you add 1 +1 + 2013 = 2015, then 2 + 0 + 1 + 5 = 8, and your tarot year is '8', meaning 'Strength'). The key difference between tarot numerology and classic numerology is that instead of ending at '9' and starting again at '1' to mark 9-year cycles, in tarot numerology, you retain the 2-digits instead of adding it all up to single digits. For instance, '10' would not be 1 + 0 = 1, but would be just '10', which is a 'Wheel of Fortune' year of new beginnings - same connotation as a Year 1 in classic numerology.

When I first began my PhD journey, I was in my 'Wheel of Fortune' year (Year 10), and very fittingly, I was embarking on a completely new vocation, in new surroundings, and meeting new people. The Wheel of Fortune also has very auspicious connotations, which is true, considering that those were very vivid and eventful years of my life - and obtaining the PhD itself is life-changing in every respect, and opened up a whole new world of opportunities for me. The years that followed were 'Justice' (11), 'Hanged Man' (12), 'Death' (13), and 'Hierophant' (5). In my Justice year, I was busy socializing the entire year with my newly made friends and coursemates. All in all, it was a hugely social year and it was a time of partnerships and collaborations, and learning how to relate to other people and make adjustments in my own attitudes in the course of it. Looking back, I would say that I did learn alot about myself through relating with others, as I had never been in such a collective environment before, living in a college dorm for the first time in my life! It was a new experience for me, having to engage so closely with other people, whether in college, in my living environment, or in my faculty where I went to work everyday (remember the infamous 'attic'?!) I had to totally fine-tune my previous loner existence.....and I had to learn to make compromises and accommodate other people's needs and to be more easygoing and less formidable or fastidious (classic Virgo defects). I had a few falling outs with friends as I was learning my lessons, but I'm grateful that our friendship survived and we've managed to become lifelong friends after we've all graduated.

In the year that followed, which was my Hanged Man year (12), I turned completely within and started to delve really seriously into spiritual phenomena, such as tarot, angel cards, meditation, and books on past life regression. It was a hugely spiritual year with long-lasting effects, as I could still call upon the knowledge I acquired back then whenever I felt lost and needed some guidance from Above. In my Death year (13), I was finishing up my PhD, so it definitely signaled an ending of my student life, and to the years of research on my thesis. I remember it wasn't particularly painful as all Death years suggested, because it was a natural progression that I was to finish, and I welcomed the prospect immensely. However, it was a stressful and emotionally high-strung year precisely because I was rushing to finish. I was glad that I had the preparation from the year before, and that I could utilize my spiritual tools to help me get through that stressful period. Finally, last year I began a new chapter of my life in my Hierophant year (5). You might ask why it came back to 5 instead of 14, following the year 13. It just so happened that 5 appeared when adding up 2012 to my birthdate; this suggested that I was not yet ready to embark on a Temperance year (14) yet, and had to begin again at 5 and learn the lessons of the Hierophant. But in my next cycle in 2020, I will have a chance to embark on a Year 14 and learn the lessons of Temperance. Meanwhile, my last Hierophant year (5) was really all about learning and teaching and adapting to established systems and traditional structures. Upon graduation, I had joined a university as a teaching staff, and was a member of a most established institution if there ever was one. In that same year, I also found myself being quite conventional in all other areas of my life.....and yet I was to rebel against all of these in my Lovers year.

I already felt the inklings of the Lovers year (6) towards the middle of December 2012. If Hierophant year is about established thoughts and taken for granted assumptions about what is right and what is wrong, then Lovers year is about asking yourself if you genuinely identify with these ongoing conventions on a soul level, and if you're denying yourself the chance to choose differently than everyone else. I had always thought that I was 'conventional' in a lot of ways, and that my life was going to follow a very 'conventional' trajectory. My idea was that I was going to have a stable career that brought me a decent living and good social status. Being a college professor was definitely going to get me there. In the area of personal life, I envisioned myself marrying someone who was a few years older, had a promising and stable career, and a good-natured and reliable temperament. In other words, someone who was quite 'conventional' in every way. A lot of my friends are living that type of life, shouldn't I be aspiring towards the same? My parents would certainly like that, as they too lead very 'conventional' lives. I made a promise to my parents - and mostly to myself, fair enough - last year that I'd live my life that way, that I'd choose the most stable path - in life and love. But into my Lovers year, I was jerked out of my comfort zone, and I suddenly realized how unconventional my dreams and aspirations really were! For instance, my PhD topic itself on 'leftover' women in China's marriage market was totally controversial - nothing boring and generic there. The fact that I composed an article in a scholarly journal on such an un-scholarly and popular topic was another tell-tale sign. On top of that, I made a video abstract for my paper which had skits edited into it, which was a complete breakthrough as it rendered previously serious journal article abstracts entertaining for the very first time. Surely there is nothing conventional about any of these actions. This certainly warrants my being with someone who also wasn't 'conventional' in that sense; someone who had big, bold and far-reaching dreams, and wasn't afraid to pursue them. Someone who - I discovered in retrospect - was always one step ahead, and tried to tell me so time and time again, but of course, I had lacked the vision and experience to understand back then. But with the initiation into the Lovers year, it all becomes clear to me, as I gradually and irrevocably shed all of my previous inhibitions and become imbued with unprecedented courage and determination to choose according to my heart's true desire.

I owe it to my bold, audacious, and inspirational girlfriends SH, AL, WK & KL who have remained true to themselves in spite of challenges and controversy, and had the guts to follow their hearts and their instincts steadfastly, which has eventually led them to be with their one True Love. 

Birthday Resolution by Tarot

I was doing an exercise in my new tarot workbook by Mary K. Greer. Incidentally, last night, on the eve of my b'day, I've come to the exercise: 'pick 3 cards that most resemble your best qualities'. It tells you to pick around 20ish to choose from, and surely I did, as it wasn't easy to pick just THREE out of 78 cards! I was using my new deck of cards - the Legacy of the Divine Tarot. Luckily I had been doing quite a few exercises in the book already, which include finding my Birth Card, Year Card, Sun Sign Card; also I had been picking 3 cards every other night to check my energies of that day. So I do have some ideas about which cards best represent me.......

It came down to 3 cards: Page of Swords, The Hermit, and The Magician.

Page of Swords was a card that came up several times when I was testing my energies. It stands for mental agility, creative ideas and constant learner. I am definitely a constant learner in that regard. I can't say that at this moment I've attained the advanced mental qualities of Queen of Swords or King of Swords.....just yet. But as of now, the Page is what I'm working on. I was trying to choose between Ace of Swords and Page of Swords, as both recurred the same number of times, but I decided that I want to identify with the Page more, which is more 'gentle' and 'mild' in nature. The Ace of Swords also signifies mental agility, but is more 'sharp' or 'caustic', somewhat flimsy and volatile like the Knight (of Swords, mutable sign). I would rather my wit be mildly modest and good-naturedly inquisitive rather than caustic and formidable.

The Hermit is the card of Sun in Virgo, which is moi! I am coming more and more to identify with The Hermit as I age. It implies going inside to find the answers, to find knowledge and attain spiritual vision. It is the card of 'productive solitude' (my favourite term of the year). Lately, as of this year, I find myself being more and more like a hermit - in the positive sense - who has to replenish my energies by being alone and reflecting by myself. Especially with my busy researching and thesis writing schedule these days, I need to recuperate mentally and spiritually - by myself. I like socializing with my friends, and an excuse to get out of the house and have contact with civilization so as not to be entirely isolated - but afterwards I enjoy my time alone to reflect about life, about the future, about spirituality. It's not just about work, but about how I can connect more to my spiritual path. But I understand it all has to come naturally, organically. It can't be pushed, 'it has to come to you' - as my friend Soar says about her meditation experience. This year I've serendipitously come across the area of 'soul potential' and 'soul development' from Ainslie MacLeod's books. And am about to embark on using my card-reading abilities to heal, via Angel Therapy. The wise sage Hermit's wisdom to look inside has paid off.

The Magician: it was my Personality card in the Planetary Spread I did once upon a time. I still find strong resonance with it, and admittedly it is one of my favourite cards in the deck. I like the idea that I can 'make things happen' like the magician. It gives me power; the power of manifestation. Like I can shape my own destiny and choose the life that I want to live. Lately I've been very much into finding out my soul's potential, and what kind of life that I'm meant to live in my present life, thanks to Ainslie's 'The Instruction'. I have a feeling that I'm a Type 9 soul who is vested in constantly improving myself and motivating myself to achieve what I'm meant to be in this lifetime. In reading about my soul's fears (in The Transformation, sequel to The Instruction), I've come to the conclusion that in my past life, my life's plans were curtailed due to various reasons, and I was not able to accomplish what I was here for. Hence the strong feeling now that I have to accomplish something in this lifetime. It doesn't have to be 'big' or immensely lucrative in the most conventional sense, but it has to be meaningful I'm sure. Something that's balanced in terms of material and spiritual, that corroborates my Virgo practicality and Sagittarian ideals. Something like an inspirational educator, as I'm also vested in helping and inspiring other people to reach their full potentials. I believe that only by pursuing your TRUE interests - that you are naturally good at - that you can succeed in life. It is by having the Passion that will propel you to attain your goal. It won't happen for you if you go at it half-heartedly......

These 3 cards: Page of Swords (mental), The Hermit (spiritual), and The Magician (manifestation) are my birthday resolutions for this year, and for my post-Saturn return life to come.